Critique of first paper :

1. What question is the writer exploring in this draft? Write out what you think the research question is.
2. Identify what you think is the thesis statement.
3. In a sentence or two, state what you think the essay is saying. (It may or may not be what you underlined as the thesis statement.)
4. Discuss the quality of the statement Does it go beyond the obvious to offer an interesting insight into the issue? Is it too generally stated or vague?
5. Identify sentences or sections that you think provide good evidence for what you think is the essay's main point.
6. Identify sentences or sections that you think the essay might be better off without.
7. Comment on the degree of development of the point throughout the rest of the essay. Mark major supporting points. They may be stories, examples, explanations, questions, history, etc. Do you find this paper convincing and interesting? Why or why not?
8. Discuss the use of research. Comment on the balance between their own commentary and ideas and quotations from researched sources. Do they use research to explore and support their point, or are they overwhelmed by the research? Comment also on their use of quotations from sources. Are the quotations well-chosen or could these ideas be just as effective if summarized? Does the quoted or summarized material from sources really add to the essay or is it just filler? Note any MLA citation errors.
9. Discuss their use of the statistic from Harper's index. Are they taking a leap away from it or developing the information around the statistic? Are transitions to the material smooth?.
10. Comment on their thesis strategy. Are they presenting a simple position? Are there nuances or variations of position presented? Are various points of view considered?
11. Offer any advice to the writer that you think might help them to clarify their presentation. What are they leaving out? What would you change or add?
12. Comment on the structure and organization, logical flow, use of topic sentences to identify time and place, especially if there are shifts.
13. Comment on style and correctness. Try to identify any repeated sentence grammar errors (fragments, spliced setences, run-on sentences) and any other repeated errors. Comment on style (passive versus active voice, diction, clarity, creativity etc)
14. Offer some summary of your review and some words of encouragement.