Guidelines for the Reader (from www.bedfordstmartins.com/theguide)

Read the information the writer has provided above, then use the following guidelines to approach this draft with a well-focused, questioning eye.

1.  Read for a First Impression. Begin by reading the draft straight through to get a general impression. Read for enjoyment, ignoring spelling, punctuation, and usage errors for now. When you have finished this first quick reading, write a few sentences about your overall impression and what seems most interesting to you about the person, place, or activity that is the focus of the profile. If you have any insights or questions about the subject, give them to the writer.

2.  Consider Whether the Focus Is Specific and Clear. Consider whether the essay clearly focuses on a particular person, place, or activity. Point to any passages where the focus seems to shift to something else. Also, let the writer know if the essay seems too much about the writer’s general ideas and not enough about the specific person, place, or activity.

3. If this essay is  reflective  look for ideas that strike you as especially interesting, insightful, or surprising, and tell the writer what interests you about them. Then suggest ways these ideas might be developed further through examples, comparisons or contrasts, social implications, connections to other ideas.

4.  Assess the Vividness of the Presentation. Find the descriptions of people, places, and activities and let the writer know if any seem to need enlivening. Point to passages where additional features could be named and detailed, or where the sense of smell or touch could be added to the visual description. Also indicate if you have difficulty seeing people in action or cannot imagine what is involved in the activity.

5.  Evaluate the Plan. Point out any places where you felt bogged down or overwhelmed with information or where information was not clearly presented or was inadequate. If the profile is organized chronologically, point out any places where the narrative seems to drag as well as where it seems most compelling. If the profile is organized topically, look to see whether the writer has presented too little or too much material for a topic and whether topics might be sequenced differently or connected more clearly.

·         Look at the beginning. Does it capture your attention? Is there a quotation, a fact, or an anecdote elsewhere in the draft that might make a better opening?

·         Look at the ending. Does it leave you hanging, seem too abrupt, or oversimplify the material? Suggest another ending, possibly by moving a passage or a quotation from elsewhere in the essay.

 5.  Assess Whether the Subject’s Significance Is Clear. Point to any comments, judgments, interpretations, or ideas that seem vague or unrelated to what you are shown in the observational essay. PUT BRACKETS AROUND THESE THINGS. Tell the writer what you take to be important or interesting about the person, place, or activity that is the focus of the profile. Indicate any details that seem especially meaningful and explain why you think so.

6.  Give the Writer Your Final Thoughts. What is the strongest part of this draft? What about the draft is most memorable? What in the draft is weak? What in the draft is most in need of further work?