> Comprehending Engineers-Take One
> Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where
> did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was
> walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman
> rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her
> clothes and said, "Take what you want." So the first engineer said he took
> the bike .
> The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably
> wouldn't have fit."
> Comprehending Engineers - Take Two
> To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is
> half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
> A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
> particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these
> guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I
> don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey,
> here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George.
> Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't
> they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind
> firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
> year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent
> for a moment.
> The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
> them tonight."  The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
> ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The
> engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
> What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
> Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
> The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"  The graduate
> with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an
> Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an Arts
> degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Six
> Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.  Engineers
> believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Seven
> An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
> better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.  The architect said he
> enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring
> relationship.  The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because
> the passion and mystery he found there.  The engineer said, "I like both."
> Both?" Engineer:  "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each
> assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the
> lab and get some work done."
> Comprehending Engineers - Take Eight
> An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and
> said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over,
> picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and
> said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will
> stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
> smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If
> you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do
> ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and
> put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?
> I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week
> and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look
> I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girl friend, but a talking
> frog...that's cool."