I Was a Teen-Age Cave Man

Randy Luck

I was walkin’ from my cave with a club in my hand

When I saw a pretty girl sittin’ on the sand

I grabbed her by the hair and I kissed her hard

Then I slapped her around and I laughed real loud

She told me that she loved me and this made me feel fine

So I hit her again then I asked her to be mine

She admired my strength and she gave me a kiss

She said, “There’s something about your face that I can’t resist.”

Now, I liked her very much, so I asked her for a date

She said, “Okay, but I can’t stay out late.”

I asked her, “How come?” as I swung my club around

And I dragged her away without any delay

We were admiring the moon and the stars up above

When suddenly something gave me a shove

Her mother had come in a tremendous rage

I told her, “Shut your mouth and act your age.”

She didn’t stop her blabbin’ so I gave her a sock

Then I hit her on the head with a great big rock

She stopped all her gabbin’ and went quietly to sleep

It was very, very nice of her to be so sweet

Now, I protect my girl from any kind of harm

And she admire my brains, the way I handle my own

Her mother loves me now and is very good to me

“I’m a cave man, Madam, and that’s the way I’m going to be”

This is the beast in me

Men admire me

Women long for me

I’m a teen-age cave man.

A song with this title was recorded by horror movie host John Zacherle of “Dinner with Drac” fame, but I don’t know if it’s the same song.